~FigginOfDeath

Choose twelve of your original characters in any particular order (NO PEEKING AT THE QUESTIONS AT THIS STAGE!). Then, answer the questions that follow and don't forget to tag a couple of people when you're finished.

1) Nagrael
2) Daku
3) Mato
4) Akali
5) Nasatu
6) Saru
7) Kezra
8) Klamava
9) Kraeklu
10) Janaka
11) Magleus
12) Telsic

01) Who would make a better college professor, 6 or 11? What subject?
-Magleus; he’s a suitable mix of sociable and thoughtful. His subject? Philosophy.

***
02) Do you think 2 is hot? How hot?
-You have no freakin’ idea. That is, I think Daku is hotter than a supernova made of raging dragon-gods.

***
03) 12 sends 8 on a mission. What is it, and does it succeed?
-Telsic would send a love-note, by way of Klamava, not knowing of her feelings for him. Though conflicted, Klamava would deliver the message.

***
04) What is or would be 9's favorite book?
-Currently, Akali follows the Book of Zel.

***
05) Would it make more sense for 2 to swear fealty to 6, or the other way around?
-Daku is far too rebelious to swear fealty to anyone. Saru values control of herself too highly. They both have little to no interest in having subordinates.

***
06) For some reason, 5 is looking for a roommate. Should she share a studio apartment with 9 or with 10?
-Nasatu and Janaka are brothers, but they’re practically nemeses. Hence, Nasatu would do better rooming with Kraeklu, although their conflicting moral alignments would undoubtedly create problems.

***
07) 2, 7 and 12 have dinner together. Where do they go, and what do they discuss?
-They go somewhere expensive. Daku would hit on Kezra. Kezra hit on Telsic. Telsic would politely decline, and be left with the bill when Daku and Kezra ran off without paying.

***
08) 3 challenges 10 to a duel. What happens?
-OMK, they’d be fighting over Saru! They’d have an epic battle, both of them constantly dodging, Mato’s sword clashing against Janaka’s daggers. Saru would show up at the last minute, and stop the duel with a combination of barrier magic and the words: "I'm not really interested in dating."

***
09) If 1 stole 8's most precious possession, how would she/he get it back?
-By drifting through Uul until she was lucky enough to magnetize to a living soul going to Nolix. Then, she’d float through the portal and regain her body.

***
10) Suggest a title for a story in which 7 and 12 both attain what they most desire.
-Nolix%Uul.

***
11) What kind of plot device would you use if you wanted 4 and 1 to work together?
-Nagrael and Akali, working together? That would require a ZOMBOCALYPSE!

***
12) If 7 visited you for the weekend, how would you get along?
-Me and Kezra? Fabulously. No, we wouldn't make out; but we'd think about it.

***
13) If you could command 3 to perform any one task or service for you, what would it be?
-I’d introduce Mato to Westfinder, and have him play himself in the Nolix%Uul Bootleg!

***
14) Does anyone on your friends list write or draw 11?
Yes.

***
15) If 2 had to choose sides between 4 and 5, which would it be?
-Daku would side with Akali, against Nasatu. He already did.

***
16) What might 10 shout while charging into battle?
-Nothing, because he’d be charging sneakily from behind, stabbing backs.

***
17) If you chose a song to represent 8, which song would you choose?
-Knights of Cydonia, by Muse. I used to think of it as Akali’s song, but it works for Klamava too, perhaps better.

***
18) 1, 6, and 12 are having dim sum at a Chinese restaurant. There is only one scallion pancake left, and they all reach for it at the same time. Who gets to eat it?
-Nagrael. Because the Saru and Telsic would be fleeing in terror.

***
19) What might be a good pick-up line for 2 to use on 10?
-“Hey Janaka, Saru likes guys who have sex with other guys.” This would be a lie on Daku’s part, probably as a joke (both are straight).

***
20) What would 5 most likely be arrested for?
-Nasatu? Theft.

***
21) What is 6's secret?
-Saru’s secret? Which one?

***
22) If 11 and 9 were racing to a destination, who would get there first?
-Kraeklu might have a slight chance, if he had a horse, and there was a thunderstorm. But in all likelyhood, Magleus would win.

***
23) If you had to walk home through a bad neighborhood late at night, would you feel safer in the company of 7 or 8?
Klamava. The alternative would involve all the bad things that would happen to Kezra happening to me instead.

***
24) 1 and 9 reluctantly team up to save the world from the threat posed by 4's sinister secret organization. 11 volunteers to help them, but it is later discovered that he/she is actually a spy for 4. Meanwhile, 4 has kidnapped 12 in an attempt to force their surrender. Following the wise advice of 5, they seek out 3 , who gives them what they need to complete their quest.

What title would you give this fic?
-NOLIX%UUL FANFIC!!!
Proving that it is possible to write a horrible fanfic of your own work.